Name: The problem with being "too nice" at work
Uploaded: 2024-05-28T14:58:11Z
Duration: 16 min 55 s
Description: Are you "too nice" at work? Social psychologist Tessa West shares her research on how people attempt to mask anxiety with overly polite feedback — a practice that's more harmful than helpful — and gives three tips to swap generic, unhelpful observations with clear, consistent feedback, even when you feel awkward.

Are you "too nice" at work? Social psychologist Tessa West shares her research on how people attempt to mask anxiety with overly polite feedback — a practice that's more harmful than helpful — and gives three tips to swap generic, unhelpful observations with clear, consistent feedback, even when you feel awkward.

The problem with being "too nice" at work

When people feel anxious or socially awkward, they often default to giving polite but vague feedback, masking discomfort with niceness. Lab studies show that this 'anxious niceness' not only obscures honest communication but can transmit stress to others, especially those from marginalized groups. Generic praise can even harm reputations, making recipients seem less competent and leaving them unclear on how to improve. Clear, direct feedback—delivered with kindness and specificity—breaks this cycle and helps everyone grow.